Dear god its been the longest time since I even opened this site.

Actually, there isn’t much point for me to be doing so, as I’ve established a new site for myself. It’s good in a way,that this chapter of my life has ended. New slate, new beginning, or to be more aptly put, the beginning.

As I was browsing through some friends blogs, and even mine during this part of my life, (especially ones that was dated pre-june 2006). And I managed to come up with a conclusion. 

Seriously, what in the bloody fucking hell was I thinking? 

No, it’s not all that bad, actually, I mean, I did have fun (?) and… stuff. But seriously, two losers in a row? Haha. Anis was right, I do hook up with the weirdest most incorrigibly obscure human beings I meet. One after another, started out with the creepy fat dude who lives usj11. Then it amounted to the horny fella  back in form2, no wait, there were two horny fellas. And then when things were looking pretty good, the crazy-ass deprived farmer in Johore came into the picture. Yes, the one who actually threatened to kill me, and cause bodily harm to my family members. (and who could forget his idiocy. Oh god, seriously) Followed by the socially inept introverted freak with bad rep, and to top the cherry on the crème; the drug addict low-life from JB. AND much like déjà vu, he also threatened to kill me, just in a less obvious manner.

Haha. What an incredibly long list of colourful people I have associated myself with, don’t u think? 

See, I never understood, why I don’t just be like the other girls by hooking up with the boys at school. Why I got to venture out and pick out the most eccentric, oddest person from the pool of people. I guess even now it’s kind  of like that, but I do admit I am more equipped in terms of knowledge. Or so do I claim ;) 

I mean, my choice of guys now don’t really fit the average normal boys either. But I do know for a fact that he’s a great guy. There ain’t anything I regretted, unlike the past boys I have associated myself with. Great, awesome guy, and I love the guy to bits. (and I will never say this anywhere else)

Ok. To sum it up, high school senior year, and the period waiting for college by far has been the worst time of my life. And I’m glad I left it behind. I don’t think I will talk about it again, there is no need for it to be done. Maybe one fine day, when I am in a drunken stupor someone will know the full tale, how history was written… but as for now. Let’s just leave it where it belongs; in the past.  :) 

(recently updated) Things to do before I die :

1. hitchhike  backpack in Malaysia asia & europe
   
2. have a drag race with my brother
3. kick that profesor-whatnot-madya guy in the balls for making lameass malay movies with identical plots everytime.
4. get married, have plenty of kids and cute grandkiddies.
   
5. stick it UP to THE MAN
6. lose my not so yummytummy
7. not be a sampah masyarakat.

[	Feeling	|	sleepy	]
[	Melody Of	|	Ellegarden - Mr Feather	]

Current weight : 64kg 

Goal weight : 59kg

What I’ve done : pig out on mcdonalds for two days straight at midnight…. CRAPPPPPPPPPPTastical.

Ramblings of a bored college student. I need money. I need motivation. 

I need to see my girlfriends again.

I need purpose.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed youuuuuuuuuu like watrer like breath like rainnnnnnn

Inane, mundane, utterly useless.

(recently updated) Things to do before I die :

1. hitchhike in Malaysia
2. have a drag race with my brother

[	Feeling	|	happey	]
[	Melody Of	|	Sean Kingston - Beautful Girl	]

Its funny how things can turn from so bright to dreary with a single person.

Woke up with the phone ringing, with Moji on the other line describing his Danielle Steele-like surroundings with the waves crashing to the beach bedrocks, the perfect weather, the perfect rocking chair, drinks in hand… and all this was just missing one thing. Me.

Wahahahaha. That’s so lame, but I got to admit that made me happy, deliriously so. But he did deny CROSSLY that he did not particularly miss me, just that he wanted me to be there with him. He wanted to hug me and enjoy the time together. That’s just sweet. Awesomely sweet. And in three days he’s going to be back.

After all that flowers and glitters, another man turned it all to shit. Our mofo advisor, Mr. Maxwell Sim Yek Kiang. Apparently, that overeating lethargic bastard had conveniently forgotten to assess us, even after us coming into his office 3 times. Even more conveniently, he has resigned, and blamed the system for being down after he half-assedly tried to assess us on Monday.

Kudos to you Mr. Sim, for making my morning terrible, after savouring the sweetness for around 10mins. Tops off to you, really. I hope your oversized gut burns everytime u get that second helping of food and ur anal retractions go haywire every 20 minutes on ur new job. I also hope more girls will file lawsuits against your lecherous ways and your waistline gets bigger and bigger that someday even the worlds largest pants will fail to accommodate the diameter.

Plus, you know what they say, big(ger) stomach, small(er) penis.

Why do i still login here ? Its not like i want to tell anyone anything, probably this is just a reminder to myself.

Life has changed, new sets of friends, things gradually becoming better. Apart from that, studies has most probably gone down the drain, but im pulling myself up.

Wont be able to meet the homies this thursday ngiht, stupid muet exams.

Funny, when i think of my life now, and maybe around 2 months ago, theres too much of a difference. I think i grew up, or i moved ahead too much, much faster then the normal pace of life.

The choices u make, the things u choose in life. Really does affect its course, so badly

Hahaha... Im being ambigous, and not recording everything in a vivid way nowadays. Could it be i wish things arent the way it was, maybe in years to come i will think back and not have any record of what hapepned, so therefre it shouldnt have happened. Funny. 

Still. I have too mnay things to say. Though i should be semantic and romantic about these matter. Sometimes when ur with some other person that isnt speaking the same language as you, its just hard for things to come out. The words somehow just gets stuck in our mouth.

 i tried two times, and now i long for the life where i was able to speak my mind, allow someone into my innermost thoughts. Was i childish? Yes, i still am. I need someone whos a child like me, someone whos searching for thigns like me, for us to be able to relate to eachother and try to help eachother out.

I need that. But happiness is  by my side right now.

I seriously have no idea why Malacca is so windy nowadays. In the morning, u won't really sweat, which is good. But at ngiht, the weather is just unbearable. Its bad enough I didn’t bring down my thick blanket and hoodie, and only some shorts. Was freezing my tooshies (lol) off last night trying to sleep and that resulted into this terrible sore throat I'm suffering now.

2^nd day went OK, tried to steal some songs from viveks shiny new ipod. But for some reason it wasn’t successful. So much for enlargening my music collection.  Went to the gym too, but it was too full, and didn’t know how to use the equipments. So, I think I'm gonna stick to just jogging.

Oh yeah, hung out  with mojtaba last night, and hes such a cheeky fella!!! If I could understand what the hell hes sayng 90% of the time, I'm rpetty sure I can counter his cheekiness, but with the weird Persian accent and the OH VERY THE POWDERFUL ENGLAND he has, god. Its just so……. GRAAAAAAAAAH!

 Went back to the room at 11pm, was suffering from the sore throat, went straight to bed and slept thru the night. Frozen, obviously.

[

Feeling

|

gravitated

]

Ehehehe, back in melaka. Went for DN2, nice movie, was quite satisfied with the ending.

Ate at habeebs, and the mamak straight goes and calls my name. scared me like shit and now I'm the new sultanah of habeeb sultan. Michelle has fallen from her throne. And the people next to us were celebrating their birthday, when out of the blue they handed a partition of the cake to us. Gracias, but I'm not taking that much sugar so late at night : )

Tomorrow all of us are going to wear the green tshirt, and man, we’ll look so funny. But its fun that way, green gang la konon hahahaha.

p/s – should I allow myself to get closer to the guy? Where as he doesn’t really fit into the “desirable” standards of myself. Aww well. \

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I love my new w810 so much. It allows me to be antisocial when I want to, and I can dance.. ~~~ ohhh yeah dance when noones watching ;)

[	Feeling	|	blissfully ecstatic	]
[	Melody Of	|	2pac - Ghetto Gospel feat. Elton John	]

And now~ its for my 2-days-Subang holiday update~

Monday

The ppl from Malacca took the 9am bus, and reached here around 1pm. “checked in” and decided where to go. Ok, the original plan was for us to go to One Utama, to shop today, and go to Sunway lagoon for the whole day tomorrow.

(ok, actually, the first, original plan was for us to go to Lagoon on Monday, go ou tomorrow and they all go back on the same day. but then, giving the fact of our inconsistency, ditched that plan, and now theyre sleeping over for 2 days instead)

And then, there was this other “good” news, it turns out that SL was closed on Tuesdays, and then that totally interfered with the plan. So decided to go to Sunway and go ice-skate instead today, and go to OU tomorrow. Went to sunway, walked around, and I saw this cuuuuuuuute pumps at nose. Amazingly it does fit my gigantic feet, but the bad thing was it cost rm79.90. doesn’t really fit my budget at this moment… so I leave with a heavy heart and wait for the CNY sales to go take a look at the shoes again. Had waffles, and god, they’re heavenly. The others did eat at some Chinese bbq place, too bad I can't eat there, cos the food really looked delicious.

Again, the plan was to ice-skate, but then nelson was feeling kinda tired, and its already 8pm, so we planned to play tomorrow, after coming back from OU.

All of us each bought cute TY beanies for ourselves, courtesy of Bongs idea. He gotten himself a gay-looking purple dragon with droopy eyes, I got myself a cute orange firefox, which is actually a RED PANDA. Fell in love with it the moment I set my eyes on him ;) Michelle got a beaver(?) (ok we have no idea what animal it is) in a tophat and tux, with some weird-ass hardtopronounce name. Thava got a silver husky with big blue eyes for himself, and an orange cat for his Azi, cute ;). Since Aaron and Tinny isn’t here, we bought one for them too, seeing which most fit. Tinny got a raccoon, and it was soooooo  cute. I'm going to get that one too later, and we bought Aaron this crocodile, where his and Aarons eyes share an UNCANNY RESEMBLENCE. “Mata Jahat” hahahahaha. (too bad they left it here at my place, will give him once the semester start then…)

Watched the Sinking of Japan, and the movie isn’t half as good as expected. Its similar to “Day after Tomorrow”, only with a weaker storyline and characters. Such a waste of money, id rather watch the Guardian instead, but then  the majority has spoken :-/

Went for dinner at around 11pm at gazebo with Obi, and made a pretty big mistake, when ordering the food. Apparently, unless u state so, the naan comes with the freaking tandoori chicken also, and it fuckin costs rm6.50 for a PUNY piece of chicken. Lol… obi have to be glad that I was in a nice mood to belanja him today.  and it turns out the place is going to be demolished soon. According to one of the stall uncles, they’re going to build a housing area there, and by next month the place would be gone. That kinda sucks badly, since I like the place .and that would mean Subang would have less landmarks from now on…. NOOOOOOO. Subang is becoming lame : (

Hung out at McD for dessert, and chatted around for a while. Mich was constantly trying to peek into the skirt of the girl infront of us, and turns out she was wearing black undies lol. crazy girl. Went home a few hours later, and blasted katamari on the Ps2, played around and lounged til 6am, then most of us went to bed.

Tuesday

The plan was for us to get up at around 10am, go to ou and be back in time for ice-skating at night. Now, we all know whats going to happen to the plans we make… they all turn to dust gracefully. Woke up at 12.30, and left the house at around 1pm. Took the normal way to get to damansara (cab-ktm-putra-bus). Had lunch at sentral at this place, whwere the food isn’t really all that nice, and it costs a bomb too. Whatever. Then went to Masjid Jamek LRT station, to accompany thava (he wants to get his bus tickets to Malacca tomorrow to accompany Mich there, since he won't be -going to Muar straight away) played a few rounds of Tinny’s-number-guessing-game, and gotten them to do some strange dares :p kept playing on the train to Kelana Jaya, and I was dared to hug Bong. It was… strange, to say the least.

Reached Kelana Jaya, and it was already 5+pm. THEN the plan was further changed, when Bong suggested to go to ikea instead. Everyone agreed, and went there to look at the furnitures. The thing is, they are going to move in a house together, after the 3^rd sem, and this is “supposedly” to get a glimpse of the budget theyre going to need la… hehe, on their “priority” list (descending in order) were :

1. TV+PS2
2. a nice, comfy sofa
3. washing machine
4. Aircond.

Yup, that’s all they wanted, in the house. And I couldn’t agree more with them… ;)

Had the Swedish meatballs, and gooooooooooooood it tastes good! And the price isn’t all that bad either, 10pieces for rm9. I'm definitely going to come there again to eat the meatballs… it if wasn’t so out of the way of everything. Darn ikea.

After having appetizer, went to uncle lim’s to have the REAL dinner. To tell the truth, we kinda came all the way to Damansara, the 3-hour trip, just to eat meatballs and kopitiam food. Hahaha, its kinda funny when u really think about it.. but then I can't disagree that it was really, really, fun (albeit tiring). Oh, and Faizal joined us for dinner, after he came all the way from Putrajaya, almost getting lost a few times. I kinda pity him, but theres nothing much we can do about it… went back at 930, to the KJ station by taxi. Freaking rm15 for less then 10mins drive. Took the Rapid to Subang, (at the station, mich had another change of plans, where we all would go to sunway tomorrow instead and stay another day in Subang. Hahaha, that is just not possibble >_>, with my brother already away in college and all, and nooone agreed to that lol)

On the bus home, fooled around some more. Mich took the emergency hammer off its holster (because we kinda made her to, she wants to hit Thava with it) and made the alarm go off, lol. it was beeping for about one minute, then only she managed to put it back on. : p  next, a girl came and sat next to bong. All of us started to cough out his name, and phrases like “go for it”  and “poporing king” and stuff, and I think we kinda scared the girl away. As soon as another seat became empty, she straightaway shifted there, and it was really really obvious that shes scared/pissed. Lol, even when we were getting off, she had this glare on her face, I kinda wanted to apologize to her, but then didn’t have enough time to do that. But it was all fun :p

Reached Subang, got down at S. PArade and hung out at McD till midnight. Dragged them for a walk after everyone is dead tired, wanted to bring them to Uptown, but then it was closed. (it was open on the other side, but i kinda forgot to check. Also, on the way back, saw this chinatown like alley, infront of Uptown. Would've been great if i couldve brought them there. I think the amount of food ate today is equivalent to my brothers entire 1 months expenditure.

Hahaha, I must spend less on expensive food…

Ok, let's make an expenditure list for these two days

Monday

1. 1901 hotdog – rm5
2. mango slushie – rm4
3. triple-nut waffle – rm8
4. TY beanie – rm2o
5. katamari CD – rm5
6. gazebo dinner – rm18
7. traveling fees – rm2
8. misc items – rm10

total = rm72

Tuesday

1. Pantionne lunch – rm15
2. uncle lim’s – rm10
3. meatballs – rm9
4. traveling cost – rm15
5. misc items – rm10

total = rm59

 see, all those would amount to around rm130, (ok I'm lazy to do the math correctly, just guessing), but thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. That’s just eating and traveling, and most of it is spent on eating anyway. Whyyyyyyyyyyy do I spend so much on things that is going to turn to shit anyway.. aaah. Mom was right, I got to not eat so much luxury food anymore :(  ITS ALL MOSTLY SPENT ON FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

those money could be spent on shopping instead!!!!!!!! aAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa T_T

 Wednesday

Held the record for not sleeping the whole night, played the ps2 (katamari!!) and fooled around with mich and bong. His receptors were on tonight, so we took it to the fullest advantage and tickled him til he is almost dead. Wahaha, even had a wrestling match with both of them (in which, I lost to both) but it was seriously very much fun. But the thing that makes my heart cringe is just how WEAK I am, heck I even lost to Nels in an arm-wrestling fight some time back. Why ??

They went off at 7.30am, to Pudu station with my mom. Wanted to follow them there, but then I realized that (1) the car is going to be too packed, and (2) I'm lazy to come back to Subang by bus.

 So… bye bye guys, going to miss u in this 3 weeks : (

Woooooohooooooooooo!!! Finally the exams are over, and I feel soooooo relieved! Around 5 days of overexerting myself, and the lack of sleep is finally over. Am already back  at Subang Jaya (left 1 hrs and a half after the exam is over lol) but now I kinda miss melaka already :p

Anyway, overall I think I did pretty good for the exam, I mean, I can answer all the questions given, and I'm pretty confident that I did good. But then, the result will only be known in around 14 days right : )  hehehe, I can't stop smiling after the exam, was feeling really really high and ecstatic. Now I kinda regret coming back too early, since the masses are still in melaka, hanging out and having fun. But then its ok, since theyre coming over here to Subang tomorrow, and we are going to have so much fun!!! I was kinda surprised that mak and ayah let them stay over at our house, maybe its because obi is still here for the holidays?

Apart from that, I'm feeling very very sleepy right now. So… off to bed, although its only 10pm. Goodnight my dears… <3

[	Feeling	|	hungry	]
[	Melody Of	|	Too Phat - If i Die Tonight feat. Liyana	]

I really need to study, and slim down. I can see my stomach protruding even more, trying harder and harder to say hello to the world. Bloody hungry right now, but i refuse to eat. yes i can do it.

And I'm feeling kinda bad, and the feeling of loneliness is coming back. Damn damn. 2 more days to a lawful death, am I prepared? Definitely no.

And I just woke up, its 3:35pm. Am I nocturnal or what..

[	Feeling	|	full	]
[	Melody Of	|	Frankie J & Baby Bash - Obsession	]

Had dinner at Havana yesterday (teriyaki beef rolls!!!), and went for the midnight show for Night at the Museum, great movie, very funny. Worth every cent of my rm8 : )

Went to class, had the second midterm for IS, gotten killed softly with it. Did the paper half asleep, and asked ustaz what muslimah meant. Yes, he did laugh at me, and I felt so stupid I wanna screw myself at that moment.

Slept for 2 hrs, and went enthusiastically back to class, just to find out it was cancelled. Thank god

Bong and Ihsan was there, to share my humiliation. Went to the library to fool around next. Nothing eventful, just that I saw him again. Too bad he’s taken.  

After the PPY class, stayed back for an hour playing hide and seek in the dark CLC room. Damn it was so much fun, being in pitch black trying to hold ur breath and not let the catcher get you. The rush… the fear. Heavenly.

After sending Tinny back and seeing her new puppies, went to hang out at Ixora FC for a while. Hung out with Sheelaa and her buddies til 7am in the morning,didn’t really get to see the sun come up though, too busy talking about the our childhood television series. they were a really nice bunch of people : )

And here I am….. as awake as the morning sun, trying to make myself feel less guilty from eating that darned piece of roti kaya earlier.

The plan was to study this weekend, but as expected, nothing happened lol. went back on Friday afternoon, after much problems seem to hav arisen.

Saturday night was Liyana BJ’s surprise party, and for the very first time in… 2 years? We all actually saw who this “Farael” and “Rikhman” were. They’re cute boys, really. Li was so touched we threw her the party and she cried, that was so cute. Gave her a mix CD containing annoying kiddy songs, and yes I love u Li so much <3

Sunday, went out with Dan to the curve, Sadly, I didn’t find the Tshirt I wanted, they had the bigger size for it, but smaller takde~ it was fun, walking around like idiots and playing around like that. And theres also the spotted dick thing. But now, I do think that I shop a bit too much. Must try to curb that thing… before it becomes a habit.

Monday, came back to Melaka, after a tiring tuning thingy at Senawang. Abang Nalis was getting engaged, and the convoy were going to the bride’s house in N9. it want that much fun, probably because we’re just the guests, as opposed to the people directly involved. The food was ok though, and I can't get the feeling out of my head that th bride looks damn familiar. Went back around 5, and spent a few more hrs wasting time at Jusco. I finally got my watch though, yay me : )

Went to the library at night, and found out it was closed for Christmas. Darn, I look so stupid standing there with a big bag. Went to read sumwhere and met them up later for some spray can sessions. Lol, it was finished in a second, those sprayed snow things. Later hung out at witchery, and went off to  “jalan-jalan” at night. Went to see all the grafftis around melaka, and god they look so good. Slept at 5am.

Tuesday (today) was supposed to go study in the morning too, and meet them uip for lunch. But the weather, was so heavevly blissful, that I decided to sleep in. sitting here now, waiting for the bathroom to be free, and bam I saw something shocking.

Funny, I shouldn’t be surprised, or anything, but I am. And I am kinda feeling a bit sad and angry about it, heck even though its nothing to do with me right?

Stupid idiot >__>

And now its night, just finished the classes, the quiz (second midterm, actually) was postponed to Thursday, and I got more time to study. Yay, that’s a good thing, and I also did pretty well for the Islamic studies midterms, 8.5/15, one of the higher ones in class. :) guess I still rock  a bit don’t I ?

Gave his mouse to modi, and I guess that’s the end of it. Something short, and meaningless, and why the hell do I still feel so fucking sucky over it? I'm glad that the rain had stopped, these few days, at least that can help elevate my mood, somehow.

 And I gained 2 friggin kgs. Screw food. (but tomorrow going to eat at Havana lol)

I have screwed up so badly. I messed up my chances with someone, and I turn into an obsessed blubbering idiot.  So uncool.

And now no reply is being emitted. Aaaaaaaaa shit it lar.

Apart from that, been freaking stressed with the shitload amount of work as of late, I know im supposed to do it. I don’t do it, I get stressed I cry.

What an amazing life cycle.

Went back, tomorrow is CF, the life I wanted when I was bored, now im contemplating wether to even go. I want to do research, I want to make my parents proud. Mich was right, I do get obsessed with it so much. So very much.

I hate myself.

I also got some relievers, I thank him so much for that. Im going off to cry now.

God, all I need is a reply. Please, just indicate that ur listening. And yes, I am aware Im pathetic right now. So very pathetic.

[	Feeling	|	sleepy	]
[	Melody Of	|	Love Hina - Winter Wish	]

Had the group discussion, and I was late by 2 hrs (I put my blame on them, since they miscalled me so many times that my phone died on the way), reached the lib and saw may and the lot just walking out of it. Haha. Perfect timing.

The talk, about how modern science found god was today. It was fun, although mostly talked about things that I already know about.

Funny, I got a shitload of work to do, and yet I don’t even know where to start. The plan for the Rock the World concert this weekend has been cancelled, and everyones going to CF instead. I'm still contemplating on this matter, actually today was supposed to finish at least SOME of the work I'm supposed to do. But I find myself unable to concentrate, and wasted the day sleeping instead.

Sheesh… damnit. I'm so lost now :(  

And I want to buy that mickey shirt I saw… and a new pair of jeans. And the striped dress at Niichi. Sigh, I'm so thrifty ~_~”